Catching up

[Murfreesboro]

Your Aunt Millie does sound like a treasure. What a blessing she's been in all your lives.

My mother told me stories that probably shaped my view of my half-siblings. My mother struggled with fertility issues fir 12 years before I was born, and during that time I think my father's first family was sort of a thorn in her side. His kids came around a fair amount, I think, partly because they missed him, but also because he was a successful lawyer and had money to spare. Perhaps he also doted on them a bit because of guilt. Mama always suspected that his first wife wanted him back, and that her daughter really wanted the family together again. The divorce had been his fault (infidelity) , but my mother's take on it was that it was his FIL who really pushed for the divorce. Mama had known of his FIL years before she knew my father. He was a prominent and wealthy man in southeast Arkansas. His son had died in an accident as a teenager, so his daughter was his only child left, and my mother's belief was that he was infuriated at how my father had disrespected her. Her sense during those years 12 years was that the first wife regretted the divorce. At the same time, Mama never said anything disparaging about that first wife, whom I also met at least once.

I remember my half-siblings coming around from time to time during my early childhood, but they never visited once after our father's death, nor did they make much effort to stay in touch. Mama did make a point of visiting my half brother and his family during my teen years, when they happened to live for a while in her hometown. We were always up there during the summer and Christmas, often Easter, so she felt it was important to try. My half brother has also shown up for family reunions a few times, but not at these most recent ones. Back in 2000 I called my half sister to tell her about our aunt's death, since I doubted anyone else would think to do it. Back then you could still find a landline # in a phone book. We had a pleasant conversation, but that's the last contact we've had.

My father's mother and two sisters adored my mother, so it's been easy for me.to fit into that side of my family even without my father. I think maybe they didn't know the previous wife that well. It would probably have been harder for her children to mix with the rest of us, especially during our youth. And re my half-sister, she married right out of high school and had three children, so during my childhood she was probably just overwhelmed taking care of her own family up in the Delta, which isn't super close to Jackson. I mean, it's the same state, but a completely different geographical region. Doubtless if our father had lived, we'd have seen a little more of her.